Paris Hilton promotes her canned wine.

You may be wondering what is going on in these photos, or you may just be scratching out your own eyes and vomiting, either way this is Paris Hilton's idea of promoting something...in this case her new canned wine, yes, canned wine, "Rich Prosseco".

Firstly the name of the wine sounds like someone Paris is dating and got an STD from, secondly who in their right mind is going to buy wine in a can endorsed by Paris Hilton? Here are some more shots from her promotion campaign.







Apparently nothing says "I've got some canned wine to promote" more than crotch shots and pleather.

Britney Spears: This MUST be intentional

Britney was out and about the other day and took her tripleventicaramelmochaextracream frappucino obession to the next level. I didn't even know they MADE a drink this big...

I'm beginning to wonder at this point if Britney knows how much press her stupid antics are getting her and she is doing it on purpose? I mean..if you were constantly being ridiculed for drinking frappuccinos would you really slather one all over your face in the presence of the paparazzi? I think not...

Maybe Britney is a lot smarter than we all think?

or even more stupid?

Holy Joan Van Ark!

There really isn't that much I can say about this photo, mainly because I just ate and writing about this photo involves looking at the screen.

Let me just say...considering cosmetic surgery? Maybe take a look at this photo and then go spend the money on something else...

Sienna Miller is fashion impaired.

Weasely McWeaselson aka Sienna Miller showed up at a festival a few days ago looking like an instructional example of how not to put clothes together.

For someone whose fame was almost totally the result of being declared a 'fashion icon' it is pretty unacceptable to go out looking like a learning-challenged regional morris dancer.

Nicole Scherzinger and Talan Torriero are a couple?

WHO? You may well ask. Well Nicole is the lead Pussycat Doll and Talan was on Laguna Beach...They are the weirdest pairing ever, somehow it almost makes me feel ill.

But not as ill as this photo...



*barf*

Kirsten Dunst is confusing.

As much as I dislike Kirsten Dunst, I have to admit that she looks pretty nice at the Italian premiere for Spiderman 3 in Rome.





but she hasn't been so successful at the other Spiderman 3 premieres across the globe. In London she went with goth-slash-binliner chic.







In Paris she looked like a Christmas present.





Doesn't she look thrilled to be there?



In Madrid she just showed up in an old jumper.







AND THEN, my personal fave, the premiere in Stockholm. Dear sweet god.







I kept the pictures small to avoid adverse reactions. If that isn't grounds to sack the stylist I don't know what is...

Jessica Simpson is .........

I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to finish the title as there is no word to describe what I am seeing. Do you remember the days when Jessica Simpson used to be hot? Hell, do you even remember the days when Jessica Simpson looked like a human being?

Well..those days are long gone, and she appears to be moulding herself into a mixture between a rodeo clown and a sedated lemur. I don't quite know what Jessica was trying to say with these pants..but they are pretty much the ugliest pair of pants I have ever seen, EVER, with the possible exception being the pair of multicoloured pants with a porpoise motif that I insisted on wearing everywhere as a child.

The difference being that I was 5, not 25, and I also thought that putting a tablecloth round my neck and climbing up a fence would make me fly.

Courtney Love is terrifying.

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAAAAAAAAT?

WHAT IS WITH THE STOMACH?

WHAT IS WITH THE PARROT?

WHAT IS WITH MY EYES BLEEDING?

Fergie and Nicole Richie are fug twins.

Fergie's overplasticised face + Nicole's new hair and lips = FUG TWINS

Looks like they are trying to channel the fug queen of them all, the fug triplet if you will.



ew.